To Late
by SarissaDiablo
Summary: Sometimes, it's to late to apologize for our actions, until someone we love, dies because of it. M for character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Kill me if you want, but this is reflecting a recent experience. Song: Apologize - One Republic**

* * *

Zach stared down at the city lights below him, the toes of his boots at the very edge of the ShinRa Tower. He was looking blankly down, his body completely still as the scene from not an hour ago played over and over again in his mind.

**I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound**

He stood in the middle of Angeal's apartment, his body numb with shock. "What?"

"Zach," Angeal said patiently, his voice hard though his emotions were roiling inside him. He couldn't stand being without his puppy, but he always did what he believed was right. Always. "We can no longer be together."

"But…why?" Zach asked, not caring that his voice sounded small and hurt. Of all the things he expected when his lover and mentor asked him to his apartment, this wasn't one of them. Not even close.

**You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...**

Angeal hardened himself against what was to come, but he couldn't do it completely. Instead, he turned and faced the windows, as he tried to find a way to say what he wanted to, without coming off a complete bastard. He could feel Zach behind him, shrinking into himself in a way that Angeal had never hoped to see, or feel again. Now he was the reason why his puppy was doing it.

"It would be improper if we were to continue as we are," he began, stiffening when Zach made a rude, condescending noise behind him.

"I don't want to hear about your honor," he said, not caring that his voice was cold and harsh. He had been with Angeal for months now. In the training rooms, in the field…in his bed. Now the life he had been trying to build with his mentor was going to be crushed, because of honor? It would be a cold day in hell before he let that happen. "We have been together for months, and it never seemed to bother you before. Why now?"

Angeal hated it when Zach pulled out his intuitive side. He was leaving to go after Genesis, and didn't plan to ever come back. He didn't plan on living that long, either, if he couldn't save his lifelong friend. If he told his student, Zach would insist on coming with him, but Sephiroth had already lost one friend, and was loosing another. There was no way he would take Zach away from him too, just when the silver haired man was beginning to open up to the 2nd. He steeled himself, hating himself already for what he was about to do, but he could see no other option. Taking a page from Sephiroth's book, he turned slightly, giving Zach cold, appraising eyes.

"While you're beautiful, Zachary, I can't have a puppy tagging along after me anymore."

**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late**

Everything inside Zach froze at those words. His mind, his blood, his heart. While he normally would be inclined to scoff at the statement, shrugging it off, the look in Angeal's eyes told him the bigger man was very serious. Even so, he couldn't let it go that easily.

"You don't mean that," he whispered, ignoring the feel of tears as they gathered on his lower lids. Angeal chuckled softly, a sound that made his gut clench in remembered memories of late, hot nights in bed. He stood completely still as Angeal walked over to him, but his legs began to quiver when he ran a sword calloused hand down the side of his face.

"Oh but I do. It was cute at first, but now it's just annoying." He licked his lips even as he died inside, looking the 2nd over from top to bottom, letting the intimate knowledge of that body fill his eyes. Then he leaned down, letting his breath ghost over Zach's ear. "We could always have a go at it again, for old times sake." Even as a 1st Class SOLDIER, second only to the great General himself, he was caught unprepared by the right fist that slammed into his face, sending him tumbling backwards. He rubbed his cheek, his hand stilling even though his kept his eyes cold, at the sight that was presented to him.

Zach's face was livid with rage, but tears coursed down his cheeks, even as he clenched his fists in white knuckled grips. His entire body was shaking with the force of his emotions, but it was his violet eyes that made 'I'm sorry' echo though his mind in an anguished whisper, though they remained unspoken. They were consumed with anger, but underneath that, there was a hurt so deep, that Angeal knew he had broken something inside him. He watched as Zach saluted him sharply, then pulled the key card for his apartment out of his pocket. In one, contemptuous move, he threw the card at Angeal, and strode out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. It wasn't until then, that one of the most feared men in the world, curled up into a tight ball, and let the tears come.

**I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat**

**But it's nothing new**

"Angeal," Zach whispered to himself, his hand rising to lightly place his fingertips against his heart. It was there, still beating, and yet he felt as though it had been ripped from his chest. "I gave you everything. All I ever wanted in return was you, and you couldn't even give me that."

**I loved you with a fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid...**

"Zachary," Angeal said sharply from behind him, but he didn't even move. He had heard the door open, and knew who it was that stood with him on the roof. Angeal had been there when he had whispered the words, and Zach knew the 1st had heard. "Get away from the edge."

"Why?" he asked slowly, not bothering to even look back.

"Because us not being together anymore shouldn't make you suicidal," he said with exasperation, though his heart was beating triple time in fear, his breath coming fast in panic. He swallowed at the soft, unamused laugh.

"You don't get it. You never did, I guess," Zach said, his voice darkly amused. He finally turned his head, and Angeal wanted to shake him until the self-hatred left his eyes. Yet, at the same time, all he was really aching to do was take him into his arms, shielding him from the world and all the cruelties in it.

"I breathed for you, I bled for you. I did anything, and everything you asked me to, because I loved you. All I ever asked for was your love, and you couldn't even give me that. I was…" He seemed to search for the right word, before a self-deprecating smile graced his lips. "I was a pet. Angeal's Puppy. And like a puppy, I lived only for my master. Sometimes dogs who are abused turn on their masters, Angeal."

"I'm sorry," Angeal whispered, those words the only ones coming to mind, his body frozen in regret as he watched his only love rock forward.

"To late, my love." Zach turned back to the dark night, his eyes closing as he felt the cold wind scoring his cheeks, freezing the tears that continued to fall. His life was worth nothing now. Everything that he was, everything that he had lived for, died in that room, twenty stories below. How could he explain to Angeal, that once he had given his heart, everything else followed with it? When he loved, he loved unconditionally, with no other person in his mind, or heart. Real puppies, he thought, opening his eyes slightly with a small smile, can be abused and still find happiness. I'm not a real puppy, and I will never find happiness like I had with him, even if was only for a couple months. He took a deep breath, memories of friendly arguments, heated caresses, whispers of 'I love you', and a million other small things that made a true relationship, flickering through his mind. Closing his eyes, he let himself fall.

**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late**


	2. Chapter 2

**This was only going to be a one shot, but I expanded it to include what happened to Angeal afterwards. This is for CidAngel'sTears. I hope it lives up to what you want. :D Oh, and the song is Circle by Slipknot.**

* * *

"Zach!" Angeal shouted, launching himself towards the falling man, his heart hammering with fear and panic. Just as he was going over the edge, he heard the door to the roof slam open, and his name being shouted. He didn't pay attention though, watching the disbelief in the violet eyes below him. His heart cracked into pieces when Zach shook his head, and rolled over in midair, his voice floating up to him.

"You shouldn't have tried," Zach said softly, angling his body so he flew through the air faster. Then he was grabbed from behind, and began to scream, thrashing around in the iron hard grip that had him, his voice dying as he watched Zach hit the ground below him. His eyes went wide as his body froze, his eyes refusing to connect the mangled flesh and bone beneath him, with his happy and bubbly puppy. He was set gently on the ground with a burst of black feathers from Sephiroth's wing, and was rooted to the spot, as people began to gather around, talking in shocked whispers about what they had just seen. Angeal heard none of it. He fell to his knees, his eyes blind to everything around him, except the body before him. He even ignored Sephiroth as he called someone, easily getting the people to disburse, leaving them as the only ones on the street within moments. He was feeling nothing, not even guilt, as Sephiroth walked over to him, and crouched down at his side.

"Why did you stop me?" he whispered softly, and Sephiroth only shook his head, his eyes shining with emotion that he only showed to a select few people. Zach had begun to be one of those.

"There was no point in losing you too," he replied, making Angeal nod absently. "Why did he do it, anyway?"

"Because of me," Angeal said. Sephiroth only gave him a look, but made no comment. He knew that if Angeal wanted to talk about it, he would. Angeal stood and turned around, beginning to walk blindly down a street. Despite what had happened, Sephiroth had enough confidence in his friend to know that he wouldn't try to kill himself. He stood, and as Turks and medical personal started to gather around the body, he watched Angeal disappear into the shadows of an alley. It was the last time he saw him.

**All that I wanted were things I had before  
All that I needed I never needed more  
All of my questions are answers to my sins  
All of my endings waiting to begin**

He stared into the amber liquid, his bright blue eyes bloodshot and watery. He had black hair that had long since roped into dreadlocks, and now reached down to his waist. His face was dirty, and covered in a semi-longish beard. He never let it get to long, not because he cared, but because it got in the way. He finished the bottle of alcohol in three drinks, and signaled to the barkeep to bring him another one. She did, her reddish brown eyes watching him in disgust and pity, but he didn't care. He hadn't cared about much in a long time. He was wrapped in a dirty blanket that he had stolen off one of the homeless people when it had gotten cold. His clothing, that once used to be pristine black, were grey with dirt, his standard Army boots scuffed and showing holes. Something oddly shaped was underneath the blanket, attached to his back, and he didn't twitch when a familiar figure sat next to him, ordering his own drink.

**I know the way but I falter  
Can't be afraid of my patience  
There's a sacred place Raziel keeps safe**

"I found you," came the whisper, and Angeal sighed, setting the bottle back down and flickering dead eyes over to the blonde that was now sitting next to him. One Cloud Strife, savoir of the world and killer of the great General Sephiroth, and friend to Zach, was sitting next to him. He had made the mistake, almost a year ago, in getting Cloud out from Hojo. Once he figured out that Cloud had been taken captive after Sephiroth went insane, he had remembered the blonde that always tagged along with Zach, the two of them having had become quite close. It was then that he knew he couldn't leave him down there, and not have some hope of being forgiven by Zach when he saw him next. It was now a couple months after his former commander had brought Meteor down upon the world, and Angeal had disappeared again, at least he had thought so. He wandered from city to city, bar to bar, in the hopes of forgetting how his life had turned, just because he had thought he was doing the right thing. In one fell swoop, he had lost his student, the love of his life, and his will to live. He wasn't like Zach though. He didn't have the strength to take his own life, even when it wasn't worth a damn thing. He has been sure, as sick as the blonde was with mako poisoning, he wouldn't even remember who it was that had gotten him out of the lab and to Midgar.

**Follow me  
I've seen so much I'm blind again  
Follow me  
I feel so bad I'm alive again  
Follow me**

"Your Angeal," Cloud said matter of factly, getting the confirmation he needed when the other man stiffened slightly, and downed half his bottle before slamming it back on the bar.

"You have the wrong person. Angeal is dead," he said softly, with an edge to his voice. Cloud only smirked, finishing his own drink.

"I'm happy your alive," Cloud said darkly, with vicious satisfaction. "You were the one who killed Zach. It was because of you he jumped. I'm glad your alive, so you remember every day how much you fucked up, and what you took from this world." Angeal said nothing, so Cloud nodded to him, paid for his drink, and walked out of the bar. He finished his bottle and paid, following the blonde out of the bar, and stopping by him as he swung his leg over his motorcycle.

"Would you kill me if I asked you too?" he asked, making Cloud blink, then narrow his eyes.

"No, I wouldn't," he replied, starting his bike and taking off. Angeal only watched him disappear into the dust, and turning, he faded away into the darkness of the city streets. He would wander, trying to find a way to be forgiven by the man he betrayed. He stopped when the sound of a motorcycle came roaring up to him, turning his head slightly as Cloud pulled up next to him.

"There is a church in Midgar," the blonde said slowly. "I recommend going there if you ever want to be forgiven by Zach. He often shows up with Aeris."

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked softly. Cloud growled, looking at the ground.

"He still loves you," said Cloud, his voice low. Then he was gone again, and Angeal was left with his jaw hanging open. His feet began moving, even as small kernel of something like hope blossomed in his chest. If what Cloud said was true, and he had never known the kid to lie, then maybe Zach didn't hate him. For the first time in six years, he smiled.

**All that I wanted, were things I had before  
All that I needed, I never needed more  
All of my questions are answers to my sins  
All of my endings waiting to begin**


End file.
